Takers and Givers Episode 29

This week I want to discuss a tough topic and I am looking forward to the reviews though I know some may be negative I hope that we will all be on the same page. So I too start off I want to ask a question are you a giver or a taker? Many are somewhere in between while many others allow their lives to become unbalanced, if it goes the extreme either way. If you are a leader the very nature of a good leader is to be a servant. One just has to watch any of the great battle movies and you will see that the best leaders are the ones that care for the group or team as a whole. They are first to go forth in the great battles and because of the respect that all the others have they follow even though it may mean death on the battlefield. This also applies in our careers a good leader is one that has willing followers that will be true to the task at hand, Even in cases where they do not understand the whole picture. Being a servant leader shows that you really care about the people around you and you are willing to share your knowledge to help others succeed in life even though you may not receive any direct benefit from the other person’s success. The rewards for leadership come in many forms not only money but in the peace of mind to know that you are performing at the skills which you were created with. We all have those special skills that are unique to us. By using the skills everyone around you has the ability to be able to succeed. This does not always work in the real world as people ten to become unbalanced and sway to far one way or another both of the extremes cause undo stress on your will to move forward. Let’s take a look at the giver this is usually a person who has a deep desire to help others such as a pastor, a motivational coach, or a teacher or similar positions. They spend countless hours at all hours of the day helping others when ever they call. They are really the super heroes when it comes to serving other peoples needs. They do counseling, they provide training, they provide food if needed in some cases. They take no account as to their own needs at any given time. They never say no to anyone that asks them of anything. Now again mind you I am talking in the extreme, while all this is good and they are making a difference in many others lives, many times the very ones that need their help and would greatly benefit by changing their own lives never get the chance to be influence by these great men and women.  The reason is because they are or become the givers, the problem happens when they encounter too many takers. Now what are the takers these are those that are masters at manipulation. They know how to get others to do for them what they do not want to do. They know the right buttons too push to the giver so that they do not have to carry any of the decisions require to make their own lives better. In the lives of takers some go on to do very well living on the backs of others while some are always struggling and never know what will happen from day to day. Now don’t take me wrong there are many that are truly down and out and we all should be doing everything we can to help others. The takers tend to take up most if not all of the givers time as many of the problems that are actually be faced are not being corrected but actually being compounded. The taker really has no ambition to help themselves they just want to get as much as they can. Many times once they have exhausted the resources from one particular giver they move on to the next. As you can see this also puts a big demand on those that give and are not able to recognize that they are actually be taken advantage of. This in turn causes the giver to be discouraged over time and many time through their hands up and say what is the use?  It should always be a two way street and receiving help and assistance from others does not make you a taker. It is when you keep taking the help even though you don’t need it.  I am always surprised when I hear a tradesman that is unemployed and shares with me that money is tight. I had one tell me one time that he was getting help from his church and he was collecting unemployment. I felt bad from him but than he went one to tell me that he was making it up doing side jobs and that he did not have to worry about getting a full time job. I was stunned at how un concerned as to the consequences of his actions. I asked wouldn’t you do better if you had the full time job? He said no than I would have to work all week. When I expressed to him that that was not even legal he really did not care, I have not seen him since but have heard that 5 years later he is even worst off than before and now involved in court issues and feels the whole world is against him. You see we all have the ability to make decisions to better ourselves. No one else can make them for you. Just like I talked about in the last episode about making a decision.  Let me know you thoughts or your experiences I would love to share your question on the podcast. You can send your questions to dave@surgingforward.com or just follow us on twitter @surgingforward

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